yes i’m being followed by a moonshadow

i’ve bee battling scizophrienia for almost 14 years now… my first trip to a psychologist was after an LSD arrest in bloomsburg in ’96 before my senior year in high school… the police rushed me to the hospital after resisting arrest and i was given a shot of valium to bring me down… i met with my doctor my uncle elliot atkins throughout the next year and throughout my court case… in ’97 i became detatched on an overdose of LSD again after a carlos santana concert in the poconos and was checked into marworth a rehab in scranton and left after a few days… later on i visited white deer another rehab in lewisburg… and then i went on to college at suny oswego where i attended hockey tryouts and spent a semester… i left oswego to make junior B season with the central penn panthers in lancaster and later on went to canada with the boston breakers… in ’98 i walked into paoli hospital at the request of my grandmother where i stayed for 2 weeks before driving to the florida keys on my own… i called my father from baltimore and he gave me permission to use his gas card… after that i was fine… in ’98 i tried out for the junior B rangers in hackensack and made the team… i spent a season with the rangers and then enrolled at the u of scranton and practiced and scrimaged with the team for the rest of the winter… also in ’98 i was stopped at a checkpoint at the canadien border and walked into customs with a joint in my top pocket i spent an hour in a cell and then was let go… in ’99 i walked out on a psychatrist visit and hitchiked to the philadelphia iskcon temple on west allens lane… i climbed in a window in the middle of the night and woke the radha rajas and another devotee who gave me a handful of books and let me get a shower though i was not allowed to stay… later on that night i bought a quart of tropicana and some philadelphia soft pretzels and was arrested walking on germantown ave. for terroristic threats and disturbing the peace… dick atkins got me out of jail… a week after the arrest my parents took me to marworth to wait for my hearing and i spent 3 1/2 weeks there before i was aquitted… 

i march of 2001 i took a bus to california to visit hare krishnas who invited me to visalia… The bus stopped in Orlando so north bound travelers could get on the next bus. After that we changed over in Savanna Georgia.  It went north to Washington DC.  

I hopped on a bus to Baltimore from there.  I found a cool Tibetian Book Store.  It was March, it was cold.  I bought japa or mala beads.  The next morning I got on a bus to Pittsburg.  I ended up traveling through the northern cooler climate states.  Pittsburg was cold that morning.  

The next bus stopped in Indianapolis.  It arrived at night.  There was a low fog.  The next morning we arrived in Missouri.  The terrain changed after leaving the Great Lakes region. Missouri has low foothills.  The Great Plains are desolate, more so than the desert.  It is so flat, plus it is so far from the ocean.  I bought the local newspaper in most of the cities we stopped in.  As the bus went crusing through Colorado there was an all out blizzard. Colorado has almost the exact terrain as Utah, except it has its own look.  The last bus for Arose left Los Angelos as the sun was coming up.  I noticed the orange groves on both sides of the road.  Acres of rows of grapevines.  

The so called Hare Krishnas who picked me up seemed alright.  As far as I knew there was a temple out there in the wild.  The roads were all gravel.  The roads meander up big foothills in the most secluded region in the Sierra Nevadas.  The aparant devotees turned out to be something else.  There was no temple out there nor was there a farm like I was told.  There were all sorts of abondoned cars something wasnt right.  I got into an altercation over the question of me going back to Arose.  The altercation turned into a fight.  Although I won the fight, I had to run into the wilderness to avoid being shot.  I leaped down a bank as someone shot at me twice with a 30-30 rifle.

Below me was a stream.  I ended up barefoot since I was wearing flip flops that were of no use to me. I followed the stream at first figuring it went somewhere.  I climbed up a small foothill.  At the time I thought it was best to move on out of sight,and to calm down.  I rested on the ridge, then lined up on two mountain peaks out in the distance.  One to the northwest of me the other was almost right in line of where the sun was setting on the horizon.  One of the reasons for going out there was to go climbing.  It just turned into the wrong scenerio.  I came up on all sorts of wild game walking.  The night that happened I saw a fox that ran through a meadow then stopped.  Once he stopped I knew no one else was near me.  It was a gibbous moon so I had good enough light to hike or climb at night.

The ledge that I slept next to that night is just a vauge image to me now.  At the time I did not realize how far of a fall it was from there.  It was no gradual fall, it was steep.  As the sun came up that morning the crows started making noise.  There was a fog rising up slow, then when it got bright I realized the treeroots below me that I was clowning around on was right on the edge of a straight drop.  I climbed eight mountains to get to a ranch where there was someone to ask for help.  I know two of them were over 5000 feet, one must have been 7000 feet.  The others were 2000 to 3000 feet in elevation.  The rancher called the police to file a report.  The cops said I was almost 54 miles from where I had been shot at.  Believe me the these cops were there.  The troopers cuffed the man who shot at me in the middle of the night, put him in the back of the car, then deliberated about what to do. The men told me to “chill out, we are going to resolve this.”  There were two travelbags and a backpack the police recovered for me.  The marijuana buds in those books were nothing to be worried about in this case.  The cops gave me a break on the pot.  The seargent in charge instructed another cop to let the man go.  The state police took me back to the barracks, gave me some coffee, told me to go back to Florida, then let me go.

The bus ride back went through Tucson, Arizona then El Paso, Texas.  The bus went through Tallahassee, then back to Miami… when i got back to florida i tried to mend fences but my parents had the police serve me a restraining order so off i went trying to hitchhike… a few days later i tried to steal a flatbed truck and was arrested smashing it into a parked cadillac in front of me and was taken to stock island jail… the judge let me out after three weeks and required an evaluation the psychiatrist baker acted me in his office and had me taken to the guidance clinic and a hospital in fort lauderdale i was detained for 9 1/2 months… then i 2003 i was arrested and baker acted again… the cop said he was taking me to the guidance clinic i said take me to jail… i spent another 5 1/2 months in stock island jail and at south florida evaluation and treatment center until my psychologist adriana could get me released…  i stayed out of jail and became a successful fishing mate in key west, islamorada and stuart after that until i got a DUI ’08… the stuart city cops searched my car a week earlier with german shepards to find quote unquote evidence of cannibis a little bit of soot in the coin jar and handcuffed me on the side of the road for ten minutes before giving me a notice to appear in court… the martin co. sheriff arrested me at gunpoint at the traffic light to turn into my apartment complex in stuart after driving back from fort lauderdale and charged me with DUI fleeing and eluding… i moved to jupiter while the case was pending and did community service at saint patrick catholic church i pressure washed the church… attended morning mass and helped fix the speakers in the loft… i was baker acted in islamorada ’09 for the last time after multiple suicide attempts over several weeks and given a suicide ideation… i was at UM hospital three weeks before…  …i’m fine now living spiritual life and i like living on the coast and spending time on the water and hatha yoga

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